Hermione Granger: Dieing on the Inside
by Pink Blondie
Summary: Hermione is abused by a family member your supposed to trust. Harry loves her and finds out. Will he help her or leave her to drown. I suck cuz this is my first story but oh well! rr pleaz tell me what i'm doing wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione awoke to the soft breathing of a forty-year-old man sweeping over her face. She sat up very slowly and slid herself out from under the sheets and onto the tan carpeted floor, being careful not to wake her uncle. She tiptoed into the bathroom and silently shut the door. Once inside, she looked at herself in the mirror. She saw a pale-skinned, frightened, thirteen-year-old girl's face. There were dark circles under her eyes and several small bruises around her neck. She felt the bruises and shivered, realizing that she wasn't wearing any clothes. Not surprised, she sifted through the white clothes basket in the bathroom. After finding a grey skirt, white blouse, black sweater, and black socks, she brushed her teeth and ran a comb through her wavy auburn hair.

She heard her uncle stirring outside the bathroom door as she began to open it. She stepped outside the bathroom and her uncle was sitting up rubbing his eyes. Hermione walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen. She pulled out the coffee can and poured some into the coffee maker before filling it with water and starting it. Hermione opened a box of cereal and poured some into a small bowl. She jumped as she picked the milk carton from the refrigerator shelf. Her uncle's footsteps could be heard treading down the stairs.

He stepped, groggy-eyed, into the kitchen and flopped down on a chair.

Hermione cleared her throat. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"You." He stated and grinned mischievously.

Hermione gulped nervously. "I'm making coffee and there's cereal if you want that."

"Okay." He flipped through the paper, scratching his balding head.

Hermione sat at the opposite end of the table and didn't look up as she spooned cornflakes into her mouth. Her uncle got up and poured them both some coffee.

"Here you are." He growled, slamming the cup of coffee down in front of her and spilling some on her lap in the process. Hermione jumped when the scalding liquid landed on her lap, soaking her skirt. Her uncle laughed and went back to his seat.

"We're leaving in an hour." He said through the paper. Hermione looked up but couldn't see his face.

Hermione didn't even say good-bye as she tore away from the car, barely able to drag all her luggage along. She soon made it inside the train station and stopped for a breather. Nearby, Harry watched a struggling Hermione heaved her trunk towards platform 9 ¾.

"'Mione! Hey! Over here!" Harry yelled, waving a hand as he ran over to Hermione. "Let me take those for you." Harry grabbed her trunk and hoisted it onto his trolley. "There we go. Much easier, sin't it? By the way, you're trunk is really heavy. What do you have in there?" Harry smiled, but Hermione was looking rather glum.

"Books. Clothes. School supplies." Hermione didn't look Harry in the eyes. But he tried to ignore it.

"So, you excited for our third year at Hogwarts?"

"Sure." Hermione was staring out into space.

"Are you going to miss your family?" Harry asked. Hermione's head shot up and she gave him a cold stare.

"Yes." She whispered before looking at the floor.

"Oh, sorry to hear that. I'm not gonna miss mine, that's for sure!"

"Let's go." Hermione interrupted, carrying her basket under one arm towards the gateway to platform 9 ¾. Harry followed helplessly. He wondered what was bothering her, because something obviously was, but she just wouldn't open up to him. After Hermione had ran through the gateway, Harry did the same.

On the train, Harry pulled his trolley along behind him trying to find the compartment Hermione was staying in. Near the end on the left he peered in and found Hermione sitting with her head hung over a book sitting in her lap. He slid the door open and plopped down across from her, wheeling his trolley in with one hand. Hermione glanced up, but went back to her book as soon as an annoying red head poked inside the compartment.

"Ron! You found us!" Harry pulled Ron inside by a hand and playfully shoved him down next to him. Hermione still refused to say a word to either of them. Ron just stared at her for a second and went back to Harry.

"What's new with the famous Harry Potter?" Ron opened a chocolate frog and quickly shoved it into his mouth, chewing noisily.

"Eh, nothing." Harry shrugged. "Hey, give me one!" Ron pulled out another frog from his pocket and handed it to Harry.

"Aw, that was my last one. You git." Ron laughed, but watched as Harry offered Hermione half. She shook her head and inched further away from the laughing pair.

"I know you're going to miss your family, 'Mione, but eat some chocolate. It'll make you feel better." Harry pushed the piece of frog towards her upturning nose. "C',mon, take it. It's not like he poisoned it." Ron said with a mouthful of chocolate, spraying Harry in the process.

"Bloody hell Ron! You're getting more chocolate on my face than in your stomach!" Harry shouted, wiping chocolate off his glasses. He looked up to see Hermione giggling in her seat across from them. Harry himself couldn't help but laugh. He was relieved to have finally broken the tension between Hermione, Ron, and he.

"Ron, you are an idiot." Hermione scolded, closing her book and taking the piece of chocolate from Harry's hand. She chewed it quietly and watched as Harry started punching Ron in the arm continuously.

"Owe, owe…stop! STOP! It hurts! Seriously, mate. Owe!" Harry was dying with laughter as Ron clutched his arm, giving Harry an angry stare. Harry's laughter soon subsided and his eyes fell upon Hermione.

"What do you see in her, anyways, mate? You fancy that looney bin?" Ron whispered in Harry's ear. Harry turned to Ron and shoved him away, hard.

"Bloody hell! What's with you lately?" Ron gathered himself together and pulled his knees up to his chest in his seat. "I was only wondering why you were staring at Hermione!" Ron said loudly. Loudly enough so that Hermione turned around and caught Harry's gaze. Hermione shifted nervously in her seat, Harry mimicking her, but she soon got up and left the compartment.

Dumbledore sat down once again after finishing his speech and golden plates and immense platters of food appeared before the starving and eager children. Harry, Hermione, and Ron ate their fill of the tasty food. They went to bed late after talking about their summers. As Harry climbed into bed he thought of how strange Hermione looked and acted when he meet her, and he vowed to get to the bottom of the unusual behavior.

The next four weeks of school went by astoundingly fast. Harry still noticed how Hermione was becoming more and more reclusive.

Harry was doing homework with Hermione sitting on the over stuffed arm chair reading a book. A long ringing note played as the clock struck midnight. Harry yawned and stretched his arms. He peered over to Hermione who was fast asleep. smiling to himself, he went over to Hermione, lifted her up in his arms, and proceeded up the steps to the girls dormitories. He pushed the door open and walked slowly to her bed. She stirred slightly in his arms as he pulled the covers to her bed back and tucked her neatly under her red and gold silk sheets. As he turned to leave, his foot hit something heavy under the bed. He winced in pain as he clutched his bare, throbbing foot. Not being able to help himself, he peered under the bed to find a cardboard box. Harry slid it out from it's hiding spot. The box made a scratching noise as it slipped across the wooden floor. Hermione rolled over in her bed and sighed. Harry jumped and watched Hermione for a long moment. When she didn't move again, he slid the box out a little further until he could see into it clearly. It was full to the brim with leather journals.

Wondering what was inside them, he reached his hand in and pulled one out. On the front cover it said 1994. That was five years ago. Harry opened the cover to the first page and began reading:

Dear Diary,

It's been three days since mom and dad died. I'm going to go live with uncle Jack. When I met him at the big, red, brick building he seemed nice. Maybe he'll play dolls with me and read me bedtime stories.

Love,

Hermione

Harry stopped reading and looked at the sleeping Hermione. She had never told him that her parents had died when she was eight. He began to wonder why as he felt a pang of sadness in the pit of his heart. He pushed it aside and turned the page to read the next entry:

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry it's been a week since we have talked. I hate it here. Uncle Jack makes me take baths with him. And if I don't listen to what he says he hits me. When I don't do what he tells me to, he makes me sleep in the basement on the cold floor with all the rats. I try my hardest to listen, but sometimes when he tells me to do something, I don't want to. But he says that even if I don't want to change my clothes in front of him that it's too bad and I have to anyway. Uncle Jack is coming. If he finds my journals he will probably burn them. I have to go. Bye.

The 'e' on the word 'bye' was smeared like she had written it hastily and the entry wasn't even signed. Harry looked over at Hermione's bedside table and the clock read 12:15 PM. So, he gathered up three more journals and brought them to his room. He quietly slid the box back under Hermione's bed and tiptoed out of the room.

Once inside his dormitory, Harry closed the hangings around his bed, lit the tip of his wand, and began to read the next entry from the same journal:

Dear Diary,

Today uncle Jack threw me down the stairs. I hit my head on the floor and blood spilled everywhere. He was mad at me for staining the floor, and he locked me in the basement. My head hurt really bad, but he said that if I cried he'd come and kill me. I had to sleep there that night and it was really scary. My stomach grumbled when I woke up, but I had to wait for uncle Jack to wake up and let me out. When he finally did, he said he heard me crying last night so I didn't get any breakfast. I tried to tell him that I never cried and that I stayed extra quiet the whole night, but he wouldn't believe me. He told me I looked like a mushroom head and then he made me do his laundry. When it was lunchtime he gave me the crusts from his two sandwiches. I ate them without complaining because if I did I knew he'd throw me back into the basement. That night he went out with some friends, so I got some food without him seeing me. But I his in my bedroom with the door locked all night so he couldn't come and get me.

I have to go now, I'm really tired.

Love,

Hermione.

A silent tear rolled down Harry's cheek. He wondered why Hermione never spoke to anyone about her situation. Harry closed his eyes for a long moment and picked up another one of the worn leather books. He wondered if her life got better of worse. Harry flipped the book open to the first page. Realizing how cold it was he pulled the covers over his head and began to read.

Dear Diary,

Today I turned 12. But it was a horrible day. Uncle Jack hit me with the switch when I walked down the stairs smiling. I have a bruise on my cheek and it stings like mad. Harry wrote mo a letter telling me he missed me and couldn't wait for school to start. I wish I could tell Harry what happens but things would get worse. If I told Harry what happens to me he would make every thing more complicated and confusing than it already is. I better go Uncle Jack wants to talk to me in his room.

Love,

Hermione

Harry sighed he remembered when he sent that letter to Hermione. Knowing tomorrow was Saturday Harry closed the book and put all four journals under his pillow. Harry went to bed with the thoughts of one person flooding his mind………… Hermione.

END OF CHAPTER ONE


	2. Chapter 2

Harry awoke a 10:30 the next day. He didn't even get out of bed as he rubbed his eyes. Harry reached his hand under his pillow and grabbed the leather journal he had been previously reading. Closing his eyes and yawning Harry then cleared his through and began to silently read.

Dear Diary,

Uncle Jack made me take some with pills yesterday. I think I know what they are but I'm not sure. They look like birth control pills but I don't to worry myself incase they aren't. Uncle Jack made me take a shower in front of him this morning. I was really scared when he kept yelling at me to turn around and face him so he could 'have a better look' as he so sweetly put it I don't know what there is to look at though……… yet.

Harry was disgusted by this man Hermione referred to as "Uncle Jack". Harry felt a pang of gilt rush through his head. "What kind of only friend to Hermione if she couldn't trust me enough to tell me about this" he whispered to himself. He solemnly swore to stop Hermione's abusive care taker dead in his tracks. 'After all' He thought 'I love Hermione more than the moon and stars'. Harry sighed as he shut that journal and picked up the next on the front it read 2005. Harry flipped through the pages and choose at random one entry.

Dear Diary,

Uncle Jack had his way with me again last night. When I tried to make an excuse that I forgot to take the pill he beat me and raped me anyway. Diary I hate my life why did it happen to me. Almost Every night for the past year he has forced me into having sex with him. I don't feel alive anymore Diary I am a empty shell. I have only one thing that keeps me from killing myself. If you promise not to tell anyone I'll tell you. You promise ok it's Harry he is my only true friend Beside you. Sure there is Ron but all he does is complain about his lack of money. You know what Diary I would give anything to have what Ron has. All I want is a family who loves me. But do you think I'm asking for to much Diary. I don't know anymore. But maybe some day I'll escape this hell hole and live alone in the wilderness some where people can't hurt me anymore.

Sincerely,

Hermione

Harry had enough he couldn't take it anymore. He had to think of a was to confront Hermione. He didn't care if she was mad at him for snooping in her stuff. Even if Hermione hated him for what he had done she couldn't hate him forever. So Harry got out of bed and took a shower and dressed in some blue jeans and a black shirt. He didn't bother trying to tame his hair for it had a mind of it's own. He took a deep breath and began the descent down the stairs to the common room. As he expected Hermione was sitting by the fire reading one of her huge books. Harry sat down beside her and waved a hand in front of her face.

"Don't you have homework?" Hermione questioned her eyes not moving from the spot in her book.

"No. But Mione we need to talk about something very serious." Harry said quietly so as not to attract the attention of his fellow Grifendors.

"Fine." Hermione sighed and closed her book "where do you want to talk?" She added.

Harry though for a moment. "Room of requirements sound good?"

"Sure" She replied with little or no enthusiasm.

Harry told Hermione to come and meet him in the room of requirements at8:05 sharp. Harry didn't worry due to the fact that Hermione was never late. As Harry paced back and forth he though of talking and his hunger got the best of him as cookies and tea ran through his thoughts. The oak doors with golden handles appeared in the wall and he went inside the room. Inside was a table made to seat two and a tray of cookies and tea appeared on the table there was a clock and a soon as the clock said8:05 Hermione waltzed through the door and it magically shut behind her. Harry saw a flicker of fear in her eyes and he approached her.

"Harry what is all this about, and what do you want to say? You had better say it quick. I have to study." Her voice quivered as she spoke.

Harry walked up to Hermione. Even though she seemed nervous she held her ground. He reached out and placed his hand on her cheek. Hermione took a step back ward and in a more demanding voice repeated.

"Harry what is it you want to talk about?"

Harry took a deep breath and went over quickly what to say.

"Hermione why didn't you tell me your parents died when you were eight?" He whispered his eyes on everything but her.

If at all it possible for someone's jaw to drop to the ground it probably would have happened. Hermione stood shell socked not knowing weather to stun Harry and run away never to see him again or to break down and tell him everything and right know to her both ideas where shitty. Hermione stood staring at Harry wondering how much more he knew and where he acquired this piece of personal information. Finally finding her voice she spoke with a harsh tone.

"I have no idea what the hell you are talking about and if you don't mind I would like to leave."

"Hermione don't lie I know all about your story pleas tell me why you never told me" Harry pleaded

"Fine I'll tell you why I never told you or Ron. First Ron has his head so far up his ass feeling sorry for himself all the time complaining and whining and all that shit. And then you Harry Potter the high and mighty sulking and always wishing you didn't live with the Dursley's. But did you ever think for one moment that maybe I would kill for either of your lives or maybe someone out therehad it worse that you. But no all you two want me for is doing your homework."

Hermione heaved and fell down from the effort. Sweat beaded on her forehead and her chest heaved. She looked up at Harry and she saw the hurt in his eyes 'those beautiful green eyes' she though. 'wait what the fuck am I thinking'. But Harry's voice brought her out of her trance like state.

"Hermione I never knew that's how you felt. Please I care about you so much I know what he does to you I want to help" He said softly.

"Do you care? Or is there something in this for you?" Hermione spat.

Harry walked over to her and sat down next to her. He pulled her close, and when she squirmed in his arms in a fruitless attempt to evade his grasp he whispered in her ear.

"I care because I love you"

Hermione was confused Harry was her only best friend. Harry had just said he loved her, and now all she wanted wasto run and never stop. But why and Harry still holding her close turned her around to face her. He looked at with such love in his eyes it scared her. Hermione's heart was beating so fast she thought it would explode. 'But why is my heart beating so fast am I sick' she questioned herself.

"Hermione I love you more than life. I want to make him stop what he is doing to you. I know he rapes you and beats you. I know how he abused you when you were only eight. I want it to stop... for both of us. Hermione I want you back." Harry wrapped his rather large, and quite strong for someone with a rather lanky appearance, arms around her pulling her close.

"Hermione it's going to be alright, I swear it." Harry breathed softly in her ear.

"No! You bastard you dont even understand!" Hermione beath was ragged now as she screamed at harry.

"You come here and think you know what your doing... what are you doing? Stiring up shit in my life?"

Harry cringed at her use of foul language.

"Fuck you Harry Potter!"

Hermione berly finished her sentance befour she fled the room of requirements. Harry wasted no time in tearing down the hall after her. He could see her down the right corridor, but as he neared the corner he realised he had lost her in the sea of children returning from dinner. He yelled and punched the wall to his left, producing a rather nasty amount of blood gushing cuts on his knuckles. He cursed and began the long trod back to the portrit of the rather large lady, as she prefered to be called now.

As he approched the rather large lady he saw someting that would stand out in his mind forever. Hermione stood at the portrit her head bent and her back turned to him. Hermione never forgot the passwords, never. He silently walked behind her placing a hand on her shoulder. Hermione jumped and flinched befour turning around.

"Harry I forgot the password. Will you let me in?" Her voice was deflated and had no life in it.

Without looking at Hermione Harry muttered "watercress melon"

"Thank you mister Potter, have a wonderful sleep wont you." The rather large lady winked at him and left her portrit.

Without a word Hermione ran up the stairs to the girls dormitory.

END OF CHAPTER TWO


	3. Chapter 3

Hey,

I am sorry to say it might be a while before I can update this story. I am thankful to all my reviewers, they make me better. This is my first fic and I understand it isn't very good. My point is that I would like to say pleaz don't tell me about me not knowing about rape. Just don't ask, but trust me I know what I'm talking about. Secondly a……. family issue has come up and until it is addressed I can no longer update. I will finish this fic tough….. I give you all my word. I always finish what I start.

Thanx,

Lisa.


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